Don’t Speak With Me In That Tone!
Guest blogger Pat Noel of Talent Development Solutions LLC continues her thoughts on Mehrabian’s 7%-38%-55% Rule. Today’s focus is on tone:
Say these words out loud right now: Thanks very much!
Seems straightforward, right? Maybe a person is thanking you for your help or information you shared. Or maybe this person is upset with you and letting you know you did not meet their expectations.
When tone of voice is applied, the impact and meaning of the words can totally change. Depending on which words get an emphasis, the rise or fall of the speaker’s inflection at the end, or a volume change, the simple statement can sound friendly and grateful or sarcastic and cutting.
We have all either been accused of using the wrong tone or been on the receiving end of someone else’s tone that caused a negative reaction in us.
What exactly is tone?
Tone of voice consists of five components:
- Volume
- Rate of speech
- Inflection
- Pitch
- Diction
The combination of these components creates the sense or feeling you get from the speaker’s message. As we saw in Mehrabian’s study, tone of voice is about 38% of what makes our message to a listener ‘believable.’ You can make a significant positive difference in how you communicate with others by putting a little effort into paying attention to and, as necessary, adjusting your tone of voice.
Here’s how each component impacts your communication:
Volume: How loudly or softly you speak. If you talk too loudly, you could appear pushy, excited, or angry. Too softly and the listener may think you are uncertain or lack confidence.
Rate of speech: How quickly or slowly you speak. Speaking too fast could make you seem uncaring about your listener’s ability to follow; too slow and you may appear patronizing or unsure.
Inflection and Pitch: Pitch is how high or low your voice is, while inflection is the emphasis on certain words. A high pitch can be grating, too low can be hard to hear. The right inflection keeps your speech from being monotone.
Diction (Enunciation): How clearly you pronounce each word. Mumbling can signal lack of interest or make you difficult to understand.
Try this exercise:
Say the following sentence: I did not say she lost the keys. out loud, placing greater emphasis on one of these words — I, say, she, lost, keys — each time. The sentence changes meaning, doesn’t it?
It’s difficult to pay attention to our tone when speaking, so ask others you trust to give you some feedback on what they are hearing. Learning about your tone of voice and strengthening your ability to use these components effectively will add a positive dimension to your communication skills.
